Posts Tagged ‘mental health’

abstract art of a pale woman hiding her mouth behind an oversized knitted sweater

Genres:

Cast of Wonders 602: All-Consuming

Cast of Wonders 602: All-Consuming is a Cast of Wonders original.

Portrayal of an eating disorder; surrealistic cannibalism; body horror

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:57 — 17.8MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

Show Notes

A broad list of international eating disorder support resources: https://www.worldeatingdisordersday.org/home/find-help/

 

All-Consuming

by Taryn Rose Frazier

My sister walks in on me as I contort myself in bed, trying to take a bite of my inner thigh—the fleshy part that’s rubbed against the other thigh ever since I got curves. I sit up so fast my head hits the underside of the upper bunk.

Avery’s eyes are wide. “Rowan, what are you doing?” she hisses. Avery gets angry when she’s scared, because she hates being scared.

“Nothing,” I say. I tug my jeans up over the offending thighs and fumble with the zipper. Avery’s only two years younger, but I’ve always felt motherly toward her. Mom always lies to me when she doesn’t want me to worry—Dad and I are just having a loud discussion, or of course Grandpa is going to get better, or you’ll be fine—so I do the same for Avery.

Avery crosses her arms and waits. After fourteen years of sharing a room, she knows me well enough to tell when I’m lying. She also knows me well enough to tell when I’m not going to talk, so when an awkward minute passes and I’m still picking lint off my comforter, she throws up her hands and leaves.

That’s where it starts. (Continue Reading…)

Feathers on a dark background

Genres:

Cast of Wonders 552: The Breaks

Originally published in Constelacion Magazine in January 2021

Suicidal ideation; mentions of past self-harm/suicidal behaviour

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 35:53 — 50.3MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

The Breaks

by Scott King

When the clerk at the convenience store takes my twenty for the frozen mac and cheese and the cheap wine, I barely notice the fractal pattern of cracks running across his face. They are unique yet generic, like a one-of-a-kind snowflake in a field of snow. Special, but not.

When I was young, I tried to decipher the meaning of the breaks. My mother had one that ran from below her right eye, across her nose, and then curled around beneath her cheek. It was geometrical, made from dozens of rectangles overlaid, making her look like a digital android, or some sort of science fiction space traveler. For years I prodded, trying to figure out what in her past could have caused such a break, but I was never able to determine anything.

I suppose that is the nature of being human. We are all broken, and sometimes we don’t even know why. (Continue Reading…)

CoW 477 banner

Genres: ,

Cast of Wonders 477: Three Monsters That Are Not Metaphors (Staff Picks 2021)

Previously published as part of Cast of Wonders episode 450

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:51 — 8.5MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

Three monsters that are not metaphors

by Dani Atkinson

1. The kelpie is not a metaphor for depression.

“You’re kind of like a metaphor for depression, though,” I tell her, and she snorts angrily. Her hide twitches, dark and sticky as tar pits.

Just because she’s deceptively appealing, and wants to trap me and drag me down into cold grey waters, means nothing. Just because I am already drowning does not make it a metaphor. (Continue Reading…)

Genres: ,

Cast of Wonders 450: Little Wonders 28 – Metaphors & Allegories

Cast of Wonders 450: Little Wonders 28 – Metaphors & Allegories is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 26:39 — 24.8MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

Show Notes

“This is not my adventure”, by Karlo Yeager Rodríguez, was originally published in Uncanny Magazine #30, Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, 2019

Three monsters that are not metaphors

by Dani Atkinson

1. The kelpie is not a metaphor for depression.

“You’re kind of like a metaphor for depression, though,” I tell her, and she snorts angrily. Her hide twitches, dark and sticky as tar pits.

Just because she’s deceptively appealing, and wants to trap me and drag me down into cold grey waters, means nothing. Just because I am already drowning does not make it a metaphor. (Continue Reading…)

Genres: ,

Cast of Wonders 441: For He Can Creep (Staff Picks 2020)

Originally published by Tor.com, July 2019, and reprinted in Cast of Wonders 422/423, July 2020

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 50:59 — 47.3MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

For He Can Creep

by Siobhan Carroll

Flash and fire! Bristle and spit! The great Jeoffry ascends the madhouse stairs, his orange fur on end, his yellow eyes narrowed!

On the third floor the imps cease their gamboling. Is this the time they stay and fight? One imp, bolder than the others, flattens himself against the flagstones. He swells himself with nightmares, growing huge. His teeth shine like the sword of an executioner, and his eyes are the colors of spilled whale oil before a match is struck. In their cells, the filthy inmates shrink away from his immensity, wailing.

But Jeoffry does not shrink. He rushes up the last few stairs like the Deluge of God, and his claws are sharp! The imps run screaming, flitting into folds of space only angels and devils can penetrate.

In the hallway, Jeoffry cleans the smoking blood off his claws. Some of the humans whisper their thanks to him; some even dare to stroke his fur through the bars. Sometimes Jeoffry accepts this praise and sometimes he is bored by it. Today, annoyed by the imps’ vain show of defiance, he leaves his scent on every door. This cell is his, and this one. The whole asylum is his, and let no demon forget it! For he is the Cat Jeoffry, and no demon can stand against him. (Continue Reading…)

Genres: ,

Cast of Wonders 423: For He Can Creep – Part 2

Originally published by Tor.com, July 2019

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 24:31 — 22.9MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

Show Notes

Extract from Jubilate Agno

For He Can Creep

by Siobhan Carroll

Part 1 – Part 2

Jeoffry is in pain. The bite the devil gave him throbs fiercely. It is in the wrong place to lick, and yet he tries, and that hurts too.

Poor Jeoffry! Poor Jeoffry! the poet says. O you brave cat. May the Lord Jesus bless you and your wounds.

Jeoffry’s ears flick back and forth. Worse than the pain is the heaviness in his chest that comes from having lost a fight. Jeoffry lose a fight! Such things were possible when he was a kitten, but now—

I can feel the paper calling to me even now, the poet sighs. O Jeoffry, sleep here and grow well again. I must to my task. (Continue Reading…)

Genres: ,

Cast of Wonders 422: For He Can Creep – Part 1

Originally published by Tor.com, July 2019

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 33:16 — 30.9MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | RSS

For He Can Creep

by Siobhan Carroll

Flash and fire! Bristle and spit! The great Jeoffry ascends the madhouse stairs, his orange fur on end, his yellow eyes narrowed!

On the third floor the imps cease their gamboling. Is this the time they stay and fight? One imp, bolder than the others, flattens himself against the flagstones. He swells himself with nightmares, growing huge. His teeth shine like the sword of an executioner, and his eyes are the colors of spilled whale oil before a match is struck. In their cells, the filthy inmates shrink away from his immensity, wailing.

But Jeoffry does not shrink. He rushes up the last few stairs like the Deluge of God, and his claws are sharp! The imps run screaming, flitting into folds of space only angels and devils can penetrate.

In the hallway, Jeoffry cleans the smoking blood off his claws. Some of the humans whisper their thanks to him; some even dare to stroke his fur through the bars. Sometimes Jeoffry accepts this praise and sometimes he is bored by it. Today, annoyed by the imps’ vain show of defiance, he leaves his scent on every door. This cell is his, and this one. The whole asylum is his, and let no demon forget it! For he is the Cat Jeoffry, and no demon can stand against him. (Continue Reading…)