Archive for Episodes

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Cast of Wonders 115: Bad Poets Society

Cast of Wonders 115: Bad Poets Society is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 17:35 — 16.2MB)

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Bad Poets Society

by James Aquilone

Kilgore Birch never thought a bowl of thin pea soup would be his undoing, especially since he stole it from a blind vicar, but here he was in the poet-king’s dungeon.

He still wasn’t sure how the vicar had identified him. Kilgore wondered if he smelled guilty.

His wife, Martha, was always harping on him to stop breaking the law and get an “honest job.” But honest jobs were still jobs, and Kilgore treasured his sleep more than his integrity.

Of course dungeons weren’t great places to catch up on one’s sleep. And as dungeons went, this one was particularly dungeon-y: full of oily shadows, moist stone walls, and anguished cries. The worst part, though, was the food; namely, the fact that there wasn’t any.

But when the guards came for Kilgore, his thoughts weren’t on food but poetry. They were the kind of thoughts one has just before one starts talking gibberish and foaming at the mouth.
(Continue Reading…)

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Cast of Wonders 114: Now Cydonia (Staff Pick 2013)

Originally published in Orb Speculative Fiction Volume 7 (2007).

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 30:19 — 27.9MB)

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Show Notes

Now Cydonia ran as Episode 71 back in March of last year. One reason I’m personally so proud of our win is the story’s author, Rick Kennett. Although I’ve never met him, he’s from my home town of Melbourne, Australia and I love that a fellow countryman writes such kick-arse stuff. I narrated one of his ghost stories for Pseudopod, the immensely creepy The Dark and What It Said which is flat-out the best evocation of how spooky and lonely the Australian bush can be. Rick is a talented writer and I’m always happy to hear his stories when they appear in the pod-o-sphere.

Now Cydonia

by Rick Kennett

Cadet Cy De Gerch bounced forward into the desert darkness, raised her arms in a defensive posture and, as best as a fourteen year could, barked, “Halt! Who goes there!”

There was no one there. There never was.

Cy jumped back, a slow leap in the low gravity, to her original position on the perimeter, her vacsuit moving easy like a second skin, to watch and wait and break the boredom as best she could until relieved. Out there was the desert she had trekked the past two years with her section of Martian Star Corps cadets. Out there was the countryside of Mars – cold and red and a billion years dead, littered with rocks, pocked with craters, filled with myths and ghost stories, most of which Cy didn’t really believe. Sergeant Kreeng – Old Get-It-Right – had known what he was doing when he’d set them perimeter guard duty consisting mostly of doing nothing. It was, she knew, a discipline of the mind.

(Continue Reading…)

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Cast of Wonders 113: The Malthus Alternative (Staff Pick 2013)

Cast of Wonders 113: The Malthus Alternative (Staff Pick 2013) is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:55 — 35.7MB)

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The Malthus Alternative

by Jamie Mason

13.

“The gantry or the gallows.” Father chuckles. “When I think of all the money wasted on this –” (he gestures through the tinted windows of the limousine at the ruined space-port beyond) “– garbage it makes me sick – sick, I tell you! Colonize space? Mankind would have done better creating space on our own world, not blasting off in search of others!”

I hold my tongue – a necessary job skill when working for Father. My childhood dreams of a career in theater or publishing have given way to the reality of a senior management position with Global Confinement Solutions, Father’s flagship concern. GCS is a place where arguing with Father is accounted (like live theater or literature or space travel) a complete waste of time. And the team at GCS should know. Because time is our business.
(Continue Reading…)

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Cast of Wonders 112: Kulturkampf (Staff Pick 2013)

Originally published in the Immersion Book of Steampunk from Immersion Press, UK, in 2011.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:33 — 10.6MB)

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Show Notes

Barry’s staff pick is the story of war by music, “Kulturkampf”. I had tremendous fun working with Anatoly on picking the appropriate music for this story. It’s a very clever and entertaining steam-punkish tale of battling classical composers. And thanks also to Anatoly for suggesting his friend Hans Fenstermacher as narrator. Hans’ German pronunciation is prefect… unlike mine.

Kulturkampf

by Anatoly Belilovsky

September 1, 1870

Most respected Feldmarschall von Moltke,

I wish to thank you for giving me the opportunity to put my theories to the test in the taking of Sedan. They were, of course, entirely correct, and our clear tactical victory I am happy to be reporting.

Die Grosse Bertha worked to perfection; we were able to play Bruckner’s Zero Symphony at half steam while the technicians adjusted all their valves and levers. Steamwinds worked perfectly on the first try, and though of course strings needed to be tuned, of the steam tympani there was never any doubt. I have perhaps been harsh on occasion in my estimation of Herr Bruckner’s work, but for making the listeners run away screaming I should say his symphonies are without rival.

The French did put up some feeble resistance; approaching Sedan, I became aware of an odd syncopated rhythm off in the distance. Upon opening the window I was able to ascertain the nature of the music.

“Toreador!” I exclaimed. “The fools! They think to defeat me with Bizet!”

It is not yet time to unleash my the fruit of my genius, the Secret Weapon, as old and tried music is proving adequate to the task. Anton Bruckner has cleared the way to the French capital; I swore that I should only unleash a composition of mine own when I wish for the adversary to fall to his knees and surrender to its sublime harmonies on the spot, and Paris has witnessed many such occasions. My own procession under the Arc de Triomphe is some thirty years overdue, but should taste all the sweeter for that.
(Continue Reading…)

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Cast of Wonders 111: The Giant Who Dreamed of Summer (Staff Pick 2013)

Cast of Wonders 111: The Giant Who Dreamed of Summer (Staff Pick 2013) is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 27:38 — 25.4MB)

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Show Notes

As our longtime listeners know, Cast of Wonders takes the month of January off each year, so we can recharge our batteries, and get out in front of the next year’s production schedule. And this year is no exception. However this January instead of leaving you with an empty playlist, Cast of Wonders is proud to present our Staff Picks!

Graeme, Barry and I (Marguerite) have selected our personal favorite story from 2013, and even further back in one case. Each of us will introduce the story, and talk a bit about we found so memorable about that particular tale.

But “Ahhh!”, I hear you say, “January has four weeks, and there’s only three of you! What are you going to do the last week of the month?” Well I’m glad you asked, because we’ll re-play our Small Cast, Short Form Parsec award winner, “Now Cydonia” by Rick Kennet, to transition you into a new year of what we hope to be even more award winnings stories, week after week.

And since I’m here, I guess that means I get to go first!

Barry and Graeme invited me to become the Editor of Cast of Wonders right before Christmas in 2012. I had just moved to the UK a few months prior, and the shorter days and significantly colder weather was starting to affect my mood. In January, while juggling a crushing course load in law school and frantically reading slush to be ready for the February episodes, I read the first submission that made me cry.

Jess Hyslop’s wonderful first-person narrative of a frost giant yearning for the touch of summer cut straight through my winter blues and reminded me of how good, how life affirming that first truly hot day of summer feels. Not just spring and rolling forward the clocks, but summer and that prickly, sizzling sensation on the tops of your shoulders when you wear a tanktop outside for the first time each year. Maybe, if you’re lucky, on the way to spend a day on the beach.

“The Giant Who Dreamed of Summer” is also the first story where the choice of narrator wasn’t really a choice so much as a lightning bolt of inspiration. I’ve been a fan of MK Hobson as a guest host and reader on Podcastle for years. I backed “The Warlock’s Curse”, the sequel to her smash hit debut novel “The Native Star”, on Kickstarter. The giant’s sense of humor, the gentle way it scolds as well as instructs the child, and the sensation of wisdom immediately brought MK’s warm and rich-yet-worn-around the edges voice to mind. I was thrilled when she accepted my request. Thanks MK!

The Giant Who Dreamed of Summer

by Jess Hyslop

What’s this–another visitor? How tiresome. I thought I had seen the last of you when the guards departed. I thought I had finally been left to meet my end in peace.

Wishful thinking. I thought I was beyond that, too.

Well, you must excuse me if I do not get up. These chains, you see…

What is such a tiny thing as you doing here all alone, anyway? Do your parents know that you are up here? I doubt that they’d approve. The hillside is steep and treacherous, and there are all sorts of dangers for a little flake like you. How your mother will scold if you tear your skirts! How your father will tut if you scrape your dainty ankle! How they will weep if you tumble from a bluff! And, my, how they will curse and stamp and rage if you end up in the belly of a starving frost giant.

I jest, child. Despite what you have been told, we giants do not eat people. It is only in your stories that such loathsome things occur.

Nevertheless, you should run along. Your parents are doubtless sick with worry, and I do not want to be blamed for your disappearance. Your King has made me miserable enough already. The last thing I need is to suffer more of his so-called justice.
(Continue Reading…)

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Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 15)

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 15) is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 17:10 — 15.8MB)

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Show Notes

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching is a Cast of Wonders production brought to you by Wolfsbane Publishing. It features the voice talents of Kate Baker, Adam Black, Tina Connolly, Graeme Dunlop, Christiana Ellis, Marguerite Kenner, Alethea Kontis, Alasdair Stuart, Ian Stuart, and Barry J. Northern. You can learn more about the world of Camp Myth at our website, castofwonders.org.

The Camp Myth theme music, “August”, is by Cast of Wonders’ favorite musical artist Alexye Nov, at MusicAlley.com.

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 15)

By Chris Lewis Carter

Happy New Year, campers! And welcome to the final chapter of Phoenix Watching, Chapter 15!

What’s happened to Felix? Are Argee and Moxie okay? What happened to the phoenix that prompted it to attack, and how are it’s inferno feathers intact?

Pay close attention campers, our tale is almost over!

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Cast of Wonders 110: The Alchemist’s Children

Originally published in the Unidentified Funny Objects, Volume 1, edited by Alex Shvartsman from from UFO Publishing, US, in 2012.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 25:10 — 23.1MB)

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The Alchemist’s Children

by Nathaniel Lee

Jen’s brother was crazy, and it was her father’s fault.  Jen had only the faintest memories of the man – he’d left when she was still a toddler, so all he was to her was a vague booming voice and a scratchy chin – but Newton’s troubles were clearly the result of their father’s influence.  Their father, the alchemist, who had promised to write every week.

Newt was, even now, locked in his dorm room, attempting to distill Truth in an alembic.  His roommate had called in desperation after the fumes had sent half of the floor into a coughing fit and the other half into a hypnogogic trance in which they spouted strange and terrible prophecies.  Jen had fielded the call in their mother’s absence – she was at the lab, working on synthesizing a promising new polymer – and she recognized the telltale signs of alchemy.

“It’s probably for the best that you got me,” she told Brandon, “since Mom can get quite irrational on the subject. She told Newt last time that if she ever caught him using anything other than straightforward, conventional science, she’d cut him out of the will.”

“Please!” Brandon paused and coughed, long and hard. “You’ve got to make him stop. Becky just walked in with a towel draped over her head and told me the date and time she’s going to break up with me.”

“My condolences,” Jen said politely.

“We’re not even dating!”

“Can you put Newton on?  I’ll see if I can talk him down.”

“He won’t answer the door.”

Jen tucked the receiver under her shoulder and headed for the kitchen.  Mom saved everything, in case it might be useful later. One of the junk drawers had to have her old address book and a lead on Jen’s father.  “Well, hold the phone up to the lock,” Jen said. She rummaged through piles of paper, capless pens, solitary screws, and knives with broken tips.  She heard several thumps, a clatter, and some muffled profanity, then silence. If she strained her ears, she could hear a faint bubbling, like boiling water.  She decided to try her mother’s tactics first.

“Newton!” Jen shouted, thankful she was home alone.  “You stop that meddling with the laws of reality right this instant!”
(Continue Reading…)

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Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 14)

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 14) is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:11 — 10.4MB)

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Show Notes

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching is a Cast of Wonders production brought to you by Wolfsbane Publishing. It features the voice talents of Kate Baker, Adam Black, Tina Connolly, Graeme Dunlop, Christiana Ellis, Marguerite Kenner, Alethea Kontis, Alasdair Stuart, Ian Stuart, and Barry J. Northern. You can learn more about the world of Camp Myth at our website, castofwonders.org.

The Camp Myth theme music, “August”, is by Cast of Wonders’ favorite musical artist Alexye Nov, at MusicAlley.com.

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 14)

By Chris Lewis Carter

Merry Christmas, campers, and welcome back! Ready for chapter 14?

Last week Althea the Sphinx posed a riddle our campers couldn’t refuse, and only Felix’s quick thinking saved them from being sphinx food. But what was that Althea said about Moxie?

Listen close campers, where were we. Ah yes…

This week’s camper spotlight is on Pointa and Kuru, and their Legendary Love.

Felix says “For a Centaur, there is no greater show of trust and respect than to allow a two-legger on his back. I guess Pointa must be head-over-hooves in love with his girlfriend, Kuru the Kitsune, because they’re practically inseparable from each other. He even asked me to draw a picture of him doing something nice for her, so he could give it to her as a present. That’s, like, two layers of niceness!”

Pointa and Kuru were invented by Ahmed Al Mutawa & Kholoud Al Zaabi. You can find their picture on the Camp Myth webpage.

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Cast of Wonders 109: Nuclear Family

Cast of Wonders 109: Nuclear Family is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:47 — 7.2MB)

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Show Notes

Today we present Alex Shvartsman’s story, Nuclear Family. Alex has been here several times before — welcome back Alex! Thanks for gracing us with an inventive seasonal story.

Nuclear Family

by Alex Shvartsman

Daddy said we couldn’t have a real tree this Christmas.

At first I was sad, but then Mommy said we would im-pro-vise.  I liked learning a big new word. It means use things we have in the house. Mommy and Daddy improvise all the time, ever since we couldn’t go outside anymore.

Daddy went upstairs to find some things to improvise with. I wanted to help, but Daddy said we all have to stay in the basement for a very long time, so we don’t get sick. I hate the basement. There’s nothing to do here. Mommy or Daddy go upstairs once every few days and bring things back down with them. Usually it is food and toilet paper and things, but sometimes they get a few books and toys and games from my room.  They run up and down the stairs as quickly as they can, because when they are upstairs they can get sick too.

This time Daddy was gone for almost five minutes, but he brought down a whole bunch of stuff. He put a tall coat rack in the middle of the basement to make the tree trunk and taped on some unwound wire hangers to make branches.  He gave me a green tablecloth and said to cut it into long, thin strips. Then we glued the strips on to the wire and put up a few ornaments. It didn’t really look like a tree, but Mommy said to use our imagination. I didn’t mind. Decorating the coat rack gave us something fun to do.

Then all of us had to take our radiation pills. I dropped mine and Daddy got really mad. He said that we already didn’t have enough to last us until it was safe to go outside and that we couldn’t waste any. He made me pick it up and eat it off the floor. Eww.

On Christmas Eve we moved the table next to the pretend tree and ate a holiday meal. Mommy made a big pot of spam stew and everyone was allowed to have seconds because it was such a special day. We even had sliced peaches for dessert. Mommy and Daddy didn’t eat very many, saying that it was a special treat for me. But they did try some because it was the last can and Daddy said he wasn’t sure when we would ever taste peaches again. Mommy shushed him. Then we sang every holiday song we could remember.

When I woke up in the morning Daddy was gone. Mommy said that he had to leave for a while but the way she was crying I didn’t think he was coming back. I got scared and Mommy told me to go open my presents.

There was some stuff under the pretend Christmas tree, but it was all toys from upstairs that I had from before. There was also a little box with Daddy’s share of the radiation medicine. Daddy is silly. Who wants pills for a present?

Genres:

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 13)

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 13) is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:05 — 11.2MB)

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Show Notes

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching is a Cast of Wonders production brought to you by Wolfsbane Publishing. It features the voice talents of Kate Baker, Adam Black, Tina Connolly, Graeme Dunlop, Christiana Ellis, Marguerite Kenner, Alethea Kontis, Alasdair Stuart, Ian Stuart, and Barry J. Northern. You can learn more about the world of Camp Myth at our website, castofwonders.org.

The Camp Myth theme music, “August”, is by Cast of Wonders’ favorite musical artist Alexye Nov, at MusicAlley.com.

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 13)

By Chris Lewis Carter

Welcome back, campers! Ready for chapter 13?

Wait a minute… What could be big enough to capture a Thunder Bird in it’s jaws? What have Felix, Argee and Moxie gotten themselves into?

Quick, where were we?? Ah yes…

This week’s camper spotlight is Chip, the Blue-Blooded Beast.

Felix says “Most Minotaurs spend their time in the labyrinth thinking up creative traps to spring on anyone foolish enough to explore the halls without a guide. Not Chip, though. He considers himself to be much more refined than the average Minotaur. In fact, if you discovered his secret lair, you’d be rewarded with the best cup of chai tea you’ve ever tasted. He says the secret is extra cinnamon.”

Chip was invented by Jeremy Chippett. You can find the picture of him on the Camp Myth webpage.

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Cast of Wonders 108: The Cardinals of Ever-June

Cast of Wonders 108: The Cardinals of Ever-June is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:31 — 34.4MB)

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The Cardinals of Ever-June

by Sylvia Anna Hivén

I put up with much when I was a boy. I had no choice, really, because I was orphaned at the age of eight, and an orphan has less of a voice than a mute.

I had no say when my sister and I were shipped off to a poor-house, run by a cruel man. I accepted that I had to work most of my waking hours and face hard fists if I refused. I endured the lice-infested beds, watery broths and poverty seeping into my very pores. That’s just the way life was. But no matter how much I could withstand, I couldn’t accept a life of misery for my little sister. This is the story of how in order to save her, I let her die.

Hearing me say that might leave you cold. I won’t blame you if it does. But in the end, when you’ve heard the whole story, I still hope you’ll find it in your heart to say a prayer for me.
(Continue Reading…)

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Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 12)

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 12) is a Cast of Wonders original.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:55 — 11.0MB)

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Show Notes

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching is a Cast of Wonders production brought to you by Wolfsbane Publishing. It features the voice talents of Kate Baker, Adam Black, Tina Connolly, Graeme Dunlop, Christiana Ellis, Marguerite Kenner, Alethea Kontis, Alasdair Stuart, Ian Stuart, and Barry J. Northern. You can learn more about the world of Camp Myth at our website, castofwonders.org.

The Camp Myth theme music, “August”, is by Cast of Wonders’ favorite musical artist Alexye Nov, at MusicAlley.com.

Camp Myth: Phoenix Watching (Chapter 12)

By Chris Lewis Carter

Welcome back, campers! Ready for chapter 12?

Last week our trio of campers dove into their Camp Myth training handbooks and concocted a plan to earn their first merit badge! The sun’s up, campers. Let’s see how they’re doing, shall we?

Ah yes…

This week’s camper spotlight is on Eris and Milly.

Felix says “As far as Fae go, Eris is the toughest girl I’ve ever met. Everyone laughed when her best friend, Milly the Kitsune, said they had just caught a giant sea monster, but I should have known she wasn’t… Kraken jokes. (Humans love puns, right?)”

Eris and Milly were invented by Gregory Bernal. You can find the picture of them on the Camp Myth webpage.